Chapter 15

I didn’t exactly know where I was going but my brother ( I am really quite convinced he’s my brother ) brought me to a luxurious looking apartment. The walls were creamy like and it just had a feminine touch to it. I wonder if this is his apartment.

“Welcome home sis” he said, gesturing with his hands towards the whole apartment.

I walked around the hall, looking at the magazines stacked in one corner and a photo frame on the cupboard near the kitchen. I noticed the beige couch opposite the television and a book shelf on the right side of the room. Then I felt Dylan tugged my arm.

“Let’s see whether you remember this” he guided me into a room.

The room was pretty messy but I had a sense of familiarity. Like I been here before, like I lived here.. did I ? Could this be where I used to live? There was a dog basket near the corner and there was a laptop on the study table. The bed was half made and above the bed, I saw a few photos lined up.

One of them had me and Dylan with an older man and woman. I assumed this must be my family portrait. So this is how my parents look like. I looked closer. I looked like my mother. Next photo was me with two girls, the three of us look so happy and the photo looked like it was taken during a party. I ran my fingers across our picture. How I wished I knew who you are.

“Those are your best friends. Gail and Cindy” Dylan explained.

I nodded and moved on to the next photo. It was me sitting on the bench holding a dog. I looked as happy as the dog which looked content gnawing on his bone. Where have I seen that dog before? I frowned a little and suddenly I remembered.

“You have a dog” Dylan said as he sat down beside me.

“Where is my dog now?” I asked as I recalled the other day.

Ryan should have known that was my dog. Why did he abuse my dog? Why didn’t he tell me it was my dog? Didn’t he know I have a dog?

“Gail must have taken it out for a walk” Dylan shrugged.

“Are my friends on business trips?” I had to ask.

“Which friend?” he frowned.

Next photo was me with Jay Chou and an older woman. I gasped.

“Yes, he really is your friend. Jay told us about you encountering him the other day at the mall. He said you were acting really weird and strange”

“I cannot believe how I would be friends with him”

So he was not lying about his mom too. I knew them.

“Not only are you friends with Jay, but here.. “ Dylan took the photo and showed it to me.

Tears poured down my face. It was me leaning on a man as we held hands. I looked so happy and so does he. Our hands fit each other’s perfectly. I cried because I don’t remember who this is. I cried because this is not Ryan.

“This is your boyfriend, Tom” Dylan said softly.

“But Ryan said ..”

Dylan got up impatiently and headed to the drawers. He pulled out a black book and turned to a certain page as he handed it to me. I stared at the words written.

Dear Diary,
I’m so broken at the moment. Ryan ran off with Mandy and left me. I saw him kissed her like he never kissed me the same way before. I really thought he was the one for me. I hate my life. I really do. I don’t think this heart will ever heal again

Ryan had some other woman? He broke my heart? That Ryan? Who am I living with? Where do I stand in the relationship? Is he still with this Mandy girl? Does he really love me? If he did, why he leave? My head ache and I put down the book on the bed.

“I don’t understand. I don’t remember” I stood up.

“It’s ok. Slowly it will come back to you. Now you know some things are for real. Jay Chou is really your friend” Dylan touched my shoulder softly.

“I wanna go home” suddenly I just want to get away from this mess.

“But you are home” Dylan frowned.

“No, I wanna go home” I pushed past him and ran out of the room.

I cannot take these facts. The man whom I thought adored and loved me turned out to be a liar, a cheater and a user. The man whom took care of me turned out to be a fraud. He told me my friends are on business trips, he told me I dunno Jay Chou. He told me I have no family here. I really want to believe the man whom I smiled at and made breakfast for the past two weeks.

But how do I explain Dylan? He’s my brother and he’s here. There is also the Jay Chou factor. Ryan said I dunno who is he but why does my brother and Jay himself said that we are indeed friends? How does Ryan not know I have a dog? Did he know it was my dog?

I walked out and glanced at the apartment that I just left. When was the last time I lived there? Didn’t I stay with Ryan before the accident? Maybe my brother doesn’t like Ryan and was trying to break us up. Yea, maybe that must be it but why didn’t Ryan told me I have a dog? Suddenly I noticed a man walking towards me and I gasped as I realized it was the same man from the photo I had just seen 10 minutes ago. He looked angry, confused and hurt and I froze.

“Lisa, I don’t understand. I thought we had something special going on” he frowned.

I gulped. This man was supposed to be my boyfriend. The question is, if he’s my boyfriend, then who is Ryan? If he’s my boyfriend, why didn’t he come to me after the accident?

“The next thing I know you called me to tell me Ryan is your boyfriend” he barked.

“I did?” suddenly I don’t remember anything anymore.

“You don’t have to hurt me like this ok Lisa. You could have told me you wanted to get back with him”

“I gotta go” all this talk is making my headache worse.

“Not before we settle this” he grabbed my arm.

I struggled from his grip and ran down the street.

“Honey, why are you so quiet today? Are you okay?” Ryan asked.

I nodded as he stroked my head. It was one of our in night where we lay in front of the television and watch a movie. Except tonight my mind was not on the movie. I was thinking about the incident in the afternoon. How Dylan looked all concerned like he was losing me. How Tom looked all confused and hurt when he confronted me about Ryan.

What am I? Where am I? Who should I choose to believe? Ryan, the man whom had been caring for me the past two weeks or Dylan, the man who claimed he is my brother. Ok, I believed Dylan is my brother but it seemed like the past that he was offering me to remember seemed way more complicated than what I have right now.

Something in me stirred and I snapped to realize Ryan was nibbling softly on my ear. I froze as his lips found mine and as he kissed me, I kissed him back. His hands were touching my knees and slowly wandered up my skirt.

It was like as if I’ve been electrocuted and I jumped off from his embrace, tearing the kiss apart. I stood two feet from him as I pulled my skirt down.

“What were you doing?” I asked as I blushed.

“It’s been a while babe. I thought it would be a the right time we make love”

I turned redder. Not like this. Not when I’m confused.

“I’m not into it right now” I rejected him.

“Oh come on. We are ready” he came to me and grabbed my waist.

A flash of memory strike me. I saw a warm protective arm around my waist as I looked up at whom the arm belong to. I had a big smile on my face and he smiled back at me as I laid on his shoulder and I could see the beach. It was so serene and wonderful. I gasped because it was not Ryan whom I just had seen.

“I’m exhausted” I pulled away and ran into my room.

I jumped into bed and pulled the cover up to my chin. Second thought, I got up and walked to the door. I locked the door with trembling hands and climbed into bed with tears.

I am very uncomfortable being around Ryan. It was like as if he turned into someone different. The next morning when I was serving toast for breakfast, Ryan came out from his room.

“Morning” he smiled and kissed my cheek

I wondered what he thought about the rejection last night. I was waiting for his apology or some hint but as we sat down for breakfast, there was no mention about last night. When I got up to toast an extra bread, he stood behind me and slipped his hand under my shirt to fondle my stomach. What is it with this fella? Mating season? I squirmed and walked back to the table.

After I finished toasting the bread, I went back to the room when suddenly my phone rang.

“Lisa? “ it was my brother.

The confusion set in again and my voice trembled as I tried to talk to him.

“I want chocolate chip muffin” what was I saying ?

“Lisa, did you remember something?” Dylan sounded so excited.

“Can you come over later?”

I proceed on giving him the address. There was a knock on the door and I got up to answer it. Ryan stood there with a smile and his bag in his hand.

“I’m off to work honey. Who are you talking to? “ he gestured to the phone I was holding.

“Oh, just ordering pizza for lunch. Bye “ I smiled a little.

He leaned in to kiss me so I offered my cheek but he landed his lips on my neck. I pushed him away.

“Why are you rejecting me?” he asked.

“I’m not in the mood. Go to work” I mumbled.

I closed the door right in front of him. I'm terrified.

Half an hour later, Dylan turned up and I allowed him in.

“Lisa, why do you still wanna stay here?” he asked when he browsed around the house.

“Cause Ryan brought me here”

He panicked and looked at me with huge bulging eyes.

“ You didn’t sleep with him right?”

Is this a trick question? How would I remember my past?

“I don’t think so” I scratched my head.

“You made a promise to me you will tell me when you actually slept with someone “

Was I that close with my brother? He was sitting there, looking so concerned. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be somewhere else. I want to go. Oh gosh, I want to go home.

“I wanna go home” I pulled his arm.

“Which home?” he looked at me, searching for the answer in my eyes.

“My own home. I don’t wanna stay here anymore. Ryan scares me” I burst out crying.

“What did he do to you?” Dylan looked alarmed.

I shook my head “ I just wanna go home”

Dylan nodded happily “I’ll help you pack”

“ I got nothing to pack” I cringed.

“Then you wanna go now?” he stood up.

“Oh, there are a few cute skirts I wanna take along” I went into my room and pulled out a bag.

I’m starting to feel good. Yeah, I just wanna get away from Ryan. I want a brother, my dog and Jay Chou. Suddenly I felt like my life AML was just a lie. I smiled and sniffed. I’m getting the life that I want. Before this, I thought no one cared about me except for Ryan. Maybe Tom is my boyfriend, maybe not but I shall settle that later, I just want to get away from here.

I zipped the bag and took a look around the room. Goodbye room.

“Should I leave a note to Ryan?” I asked my brother.

Dylan shook his head. “That bastard had been lying to you. You don’t need to give him any explanation”

I nodded. I am not sure about the Ryan lying to me part but I just want to get out of here. As soon as I opened the door, I saw Ryan standing there with a bottle of champagne. He looked stunned to see me and my brother.

“Lisa, where are you going?” he eyed my bag which Dylan was carrying.

“I don’t wanna stay here anymore” I told him.

He grabbed me and pulled me closer to him.

“You wanna run away with a stranger? Are you cheating on me?”

Dylan pulled me back to his side.

“Watch it. I kicked your ass once, I can do it again”

Ryan glared at Dylan and then at me.

“Lisa, are you sure you want to run away with a guy who you barely know?”

“He’s my brother” I said firmly.

“Are you sure? Your brother is in China. This is just an imposter”

“No!! This is my brother, Dylan! “ I shouted loudly.

I am not sure why am I shouting but partly maybe because I am trying to convince myself at the same time I’m making a stand to Ryan. By saying this firmly and loudly, I am telling myself that I believed Dylan.

“I’m not letting you take her” Ryan blocked the doorway.

“She doesn’t want you anymore” Dylan smirked then he turned to me.

“Call for help” he mouthed.

I walked back into the room and scanned my phone list. Only this one.

“Hello? It’s me Lisa. I need help”

Just then I heard a crash and looking out of my door, I saw them struggling and rolling on the floor. Who am I to help???